Lessons from a Moron, episode 1, Season 1

I have found over time that the way people learn the fastest is by mistakes. What better way to find out a way not to do something than to listen to a Moron. Moron's can be a font of information.

Lesson one will be automotive maintenance related.

1.)  Determining the cause of a misfire and curing the issue.

The case in point had to do with a 1976 Dodge van with a slant 6 225 engine. 

The vehicle was suffering from a skip. The Moron released the dog house clips, (engine was accessible through the hood (outside) but the main section from the inside via the hump or doghouse).

Sliding the dog house back and entering the vehicle from the passenger side allowed full access to the distributor, wires, and plugs.

 Using a pair of pliers he proceeded to determine whether the mis-fire was wire or plug related. The easiest way to do this is, while the engine is running use the insulated pliers to remove each plug wire from each spark plug starting with the first or forward cylinder. The pliers keep you from being the ground once the wire is removed. The first wire was disconnected and the engine bogged down further, this is an indication that the cylinder in question is operating correctly and the wire was reconnected. Working his way back one cylinder at a time he came to the fourth cylinder, pulling the wire created no difference in the way the engine was running, this showed that the problem location had been found. The next step was to remove the spark plug. By removing the plug and connecting to the wire, placing the plug against the engine to ground it out the plug should fire. In this case the plug did not fire so the problem was with still either plug related or wire. Placing a new plug on the wire produced the desired spark so the new plug was installed and wire connected, completing the repair.

Now we will step back a couple steps to show how a moron produces a lesson learned. Once it is determined which cylinder is effected and before removing the spark plug it is a really good idea to turn off the engine. Not doing so means that once the ratchet and socket are installed on the plug and the plug loosened to a point where there is one, or a half of a thread still holding the plug in place, the pressure from the engine will blow the ratchet and plug off the cylinder, the engine, continuing to run with be blasting the air and the moron with pressurized air and vaporized gasoline. The pressure of this stings the face and eyes,    a lot, and you will have just bathed yourself in an odor which no amount of washing that day will dissipate. You have essentially changed after shave smells from Old Spice to "I work in a garage"

Thus ends, episode one.