While we're on the subject of food...Vienna Suasage

Vienna Sausage, an approximately two inch long flavorless wiener with no substance to them. They are squishy and soft, the only part of the Vienna sausage that has any real flavor is the greasy globs they are packed in. They are, as far as I know, the only wiener/sausage that you can put on a grill or a toaster oven and except for getting hot, have no change in their physical being. Cooking them does not toughen up the chewing aspect of them, they just stay the same squishy little things.

And none of that bothers me, what I don't understand, what I can't figure out, what baffles the living hell out of me, is...why do I keep buying them.

Yes, when I go shopping, and I walk past that aisle that has tuna fish, shrimp, smoked clams and oysters, and potted meat (we won't go there), I always grab a couple cans, Always. At home I look at them sitting on the shelf, I add things to them, things like BBQ sauce, Habanero pepper sauce, ghost pepper sauce, regular Buffalo wing sauce, Tabasco sauce, it doesn't matter, none of it helps and I keep buying the things. Maybe it's a false hope, sort of a quest that someday, just someday, I can add something or do something and they will be great. Perhaps if that happens it will enlighten an aspect of my life, sort of give the meaning of life. Yes, that's it, If you can get Vienna sausage to be great, all will be right with the world.

And then you look at the cans and even the makers are adding things to the sausage to find the answer. Perhaps the entire world is searching for the meaning of life in cans of Vienna Sausage.