I always used to want a house on a lake....

Growing up, this was one of my dreams, every summer me and my father or me and my friends would spend a great deal of time on the lakes and ponds of the area, fishing, swimming, and camping. We would load the boat, (12' mirrocraft) I bought with my allowance when I was about 12,

 or later on a canoe.

 We would drive up or ride our bikes up to the lakes/ponds and spend the day on the water. Sometimes we camped out at the quarries, fishing, swimming and spending the day or night having fun. All the lakes and ponds of size in this state have roads along them with lots of curves and hills and each road is lined with cabins or houses. I would imagine how wonderful it would be to have a house there, or even a cabin, a dock on the water, boats tied up to it, always ready at a whim to be out on the water. Maybe even a small stretch of sand for a private little 
beach. Well, I'm not so sure any more. let me tell you why.

Tonight I spent the evening sitting on a wood deck over looking a lake. I sat there with my beer and Natalie and I talked and watched the sun set, the sky change colors from blues, to reds, to silver, then dark. The girls, a 15 and a 16 year old, not impressed with sitting about taking it easy had already jumped into a kayak and made their way across the lake to find better company, namely, boys. As I sat there I noticed that we were not alone. Let me say right now, that I am not afraid of spiders in general, I see a spider I don't run around screeching like a little girl. I don't like the creepy little bastards, I don't like any bug that is sneaky, and bites. But in general I tolerate them. As I sat there I noticed that between the bolsters on the deck railing in front of me a spider was at work making a web. 

I figured, what the hell, they eat mosquitoes and there are usually enough of those vampiric insects about to ruin a night out.

Then I noticed there was another spider between the next two bolsters. In fact there were spiders between every set of bolsters, and on top of the railings, and between the top board and the bolsters.... here I started to get uncomfortable. One spider OK, two OK, thirty, forty or fifty of the creepy little bastards, not so OK, As a matter of fact I was rather uncomfortable by this time, If all those were in front of me, what was behind, what about between the railings and my chair. About this time a spider shot down from the folded up table umbrella to my right, across in front of me to the railing, NOT COOL, they were hemming me in, it was a plot. I stood up, walked around the back side of the table and stood on the deck away from the railing. Looking at the cabin I noticed there were more of them making webs in the rafters in the roof overhang above the deck. I am now surrounded, Natalie thought I was amusing, "the spiders eat the bugs". Yeah, great, except the spider is a bug, a nasty creepy crawly bug. I mean Sharks eat other sharks, it doesn't mean I would fell safe swimming with them.  At 9:30 the kayak was on it's way back across the lake, It was time to head home, Nat remembered she had put stars on the porch all along the deck edge on the outside of the railings, each star had about 30 white lights in it, She decided since she hadn't used them yet she would turn them on so the girls could see the cabin across the water as they paddled back. She plugged in the cord and they came on in all their twinkling beauty. Yes, they twinkled, they were a flasher set like on a Christmas tree. faster than you could say "Spider feast" the air around the deck became a swarm of every type of flying insect to ever live near the water. In 30 seconds the webs were full, the spiders were going frantic trying to get every bug that had hit their web like a storm. It was amazing, I have never seen so many flying insects in one place in my life, the air was full, the stars flashed and flashed and with them the swarm seemed to hop around. The swarm invaded in force, Nat was out of her chair, not so amused anymore, She backed up to the sliding door then she heard it, turning around the entire surface of the cabin, and rafters and screens were full of bugs, There were so many miniature wings flapping that the house actually sounded like a electric fan running, She retreated inside, I followed suit.

The girls were still paddling back, the lights were still flashing and the hum could be heard inside the porch. I honestly believe she had drawn every insect off the entire lake to her deck. it was unbelievable. The girls arrived and knowing young girls as I do from past experience, (8th grade chaperone to Cape Cod), I was ready for the ewws and screeches associated with girls and bugs, but it didn't happen, The girls pulled the kayak in, put it away, walked up the stairs into the house, out to the door to the deck, looked at the bugs, flopped down on the bed and started giggling about things girls giggle to each other about. We moved to the car and headed home. 

I can do without a house on a lake, but I came up with an idea on the ride home, a couple high intensity lights, a couple million flying insects....and a flamethrower.  Whooooooosh.